Thursday, October 31, 2013

Here I am

I used to love blogging.  I did it all the time.  It was fun, something to look forward to, and I wanted to share my life with my friends and family since I live so far from most of them.  It was such a great outlet and gave me something to focus on.

Then all of the sudden, after a year and a half of trying, I was pregnant.  It was like I was hit by a truck.  The only "glow" I had was a shade of green from all the nausea.  Somehow 16 hours of sleep a day didn't seem like enough.  I was on one set of steroids because, due to my Lupus, my white blood cell count plummeted.  This steroid contributed to my 60+ pounds that I packed on during the pregnancy.  I had to start buying the pint size ice cream tubs because I had to limit myself somehow...I had no control when scooping my own bowl.  I don't think I exercised once during the entire 8 months that I was pregnancy.

Then the sweet little precious came unexpectedly 5 weeks early...during hurricane Isaac at a hospital an hour away from our house.  Kent was back and forth because I was in the hospital for over a week.  The entire experience was just so traumatic and I feel like I'm finally moving past it.  But we are definitely one and done kind of family.

Back to the blogging.  I was very determined to not change the direction of my blog towards baby, baby, baby.  But then I am finally realizing that after staying at home with him for over a year, what the hell else do I have to talk about.  I have to include him in my blog, otherwise there will be no blog.

I want to be clear.  I am so happy to have Rhett and he brings a certain light to my life that is inexplicable.  I have just had a hard time figuring out how to be myself while being a mom at the same time.  I used to be the this independent person that was constantly on the go...trying to figure out my next trip, but having a kid reels you into a world of limited freedom and a sometimes an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  Those were the two aspects of parenthood that I hadn't considered before.  I hadn't planned on stopping my active life, I was going to continue working, I was just going to squeeze him into it somehow.  After many sicknesses throughout his first year, I realized that I had to slow down.  I'm still adjusting.

I do, however, want to return to writing again.  It may not be as often as I used to.  The material that I cover may be a little different.   Here I am, the new me. Without the constant encouragement of Natalie, one of my few readers,this blog would have never been possible...and this is why I love her.  With that, I will leave you with a song that reminds me of her.






2 comments:

  1. Nice post today, can't wait to read the next one in nine months

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I still read. Blog away. Come visit me so you have something to write about!

    ReplyDelete